Thy will be done - real experience

This is a continuation of the previous post, although unexpected... because I think it is necessary to share a life experience

Last Friday, I was rebuked by God, for my ignorance and lack of submission to my leader. All these while, I thought it has been the passion for God's work in me, and do not want it to go away... It was out of a right heart at first, but gradually, I was diverted or misguided myself... The tasks I did was noble and Godly - follow up on people, getting someone with a history of 'difficult' problem to join the group, also to help out, and the aim to disciple this person...

However, I never consulted or talked with my leader about this and also other things before this, and acted on my own. When I told her about the outcome of what I have done, I sensed she was burdened, or uncomfortable... that was when I started to think more... and realized I have not been in line with the direction and goal of the CG. I know, but I really know when I was spending my time with God - when He rebuked me.

It has been difficult, I was down the whole day, and I began rearranged my priority and goals, setting them to the original ones. When I made those goals, at least I was still quite ok, my judgment was not clouded. I really do not know what to become, as all these while I thought I was in the right path when actually I was in the wrong....

So this is the setback I faced, when serving... no doubt I really want to grow, but sometimes I can be wrong also... reminds me of Peter of the Bible... Many times he mentioned of stupid things or do stupid actions, but he is also one of the closest friend with Jesus. But God is good, the heartache I faced was over by yesterday evening... and God has spoken, telling me to persevere on with thanksgiving and hope in Him.... That's how He came to rescue me from sinking...